Grief is a bitch
If you shut her out, she will find a way in.
I began a journey of learning to grieve and let go 2 years ago when my mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
Watching a powerful woman be reduced to a unrecognizable version of her former self is brutal. The day she passed I was so grateful that her spirit was finally free of her failing body.
In October of last year, my nephew passed away unexpectedly from complications while in the hospital, after 27 years of living with multiple disabilities and major challenges.
His parents broke in half. I watched them at the funeral mourn this incredible loss with such love and grace. I can’t bare to imagine the immense pain that they and every parent who looses a child must feel.
On Thanksgiving, 1 year and 2 months after my mother’s passing my stepfather collapsed. He died 3 weeks later at home.
Grief is is a bitch. If you shut her out, she will find a way in, so I leave the door ajar.
As 2026 begins, I find myself keeping things simple.
Dinner is a martini and popped corn.
I tell everyone who matters to me that I love them.
I’m learning to let go of people, places and things that I love, AND I’m making space for what’s next.
PROCESSED NOTES:
Grief is real, get help when you’re going through shit.
Schedule time for joy, even when you’re in the middle of hard things you need to have fun, see something beautiful and be in community. Get with your people and let them know what’s going on.
Ask for help. If you need help be blunt and ask for it. When people die it’s overwhelming the amount of support you will need. I did this and people have shown up for me in beautiful ways. Cleaning out my parents house, helping me walk my dog, taking me out to dinner, legal support, etc. etc. Ask for what you need.
Have the hard conversations with your parents, grandparents and partners now and make sure you / they have a will that is updated and reflects their wishes.
Make sure you / they have an advanced directive if you don’t want to have the medical establishment take over your care and your death. This sounds morbid but it’s necessary.
All bank accounts need to have a beneficiary listed on them ( if they don’t that money goes to probate ).
All property you want to leave to someone should have no one else on the deed or loan.
Anything we all can do now to clean up wills, trusts, property and assets will help our loved ones later, so they can take the time to grieve when someone dies instead of dealing with lawyers, and banks.
thank you for sharing - we need to have more of these conversations. Love you.